M back again guys... been long I have updated my blog... basically thats cuz nothin great is happening here in Chicago... Summer is supposed to be a good time, a fun time, but m strnaded here in my one bedroom appt of mine, shuttling between my appt n the motel. Thats how the last three months have been for me, but yea havent stopped partyin though. There have been variouss reasons to party, a few birthdays, a few couple of farewells, and it shall continue... cuz the day is comin.. 12th aug.. unfortunately my birthday hehe...
I like meeting new people, being friends with them, spending some quality time, but the worst time comes when I have to bid goodbye to them. I know, life never stops, u have to carry on blah blah blah.... But I am someone who does not like too many changes. One fine day you are sitting sipping on some beer, preparing chicken tikka on the bbq, talking bullshit, and the next day you are at the airport early in the morning, hugging them goodbye, that too real quick cuz the airport authorities dont allow you to stand there for too long. I hate it. I know "hate" is too strong a word to mention here cuz its not that we are not going to meet for life or anything like that, but it hurts.
There are not may people in life that touch your heart in some or the other way.. and two of those few people just left chicago within a span of one week. I know I have to carry on, do my work, and once I get busy I wont even have the time to think about it. But that doesnt change how I feel. All the beautiful moments spent together, those two years, can never come back n can never be forgotten.
I am not someone who would cry easily, but over the last week I was left few times with my emotions choked. First time when I dropped Pooja n Vibhor at the airport, on my way back from there. I am gonna go to NJ next week but still, that instant feeling of someone parting from you is not good. Although it has its own beauty, in that, its the only time, apart from when you are drunk, that all those memories come back to you. You cherish those moments you spent together and you start valuing people more when they go away.Of all those more than five or six years that I have known her, I actually never got a chance to know her personally till the last couple of years. And let me tell you that those times were amazing. I miss her, I miss her food, I miss the way she keeps on cribbing about small small things, her endless list of tensions. Someone to take care of me when I got drunk.
You might not be able to meet or talk daily but at the back of it, all those thoughts that arise from not being together, brings you closer, makes you value more of each other, without you even realising it.
The other time, when I was helping Kanwar n Khushi move out from their appt. When taking out the last peice of baggage of the door, seeing the whole place empty, felt wierd, felt sad, felt that why do things have to come to an end. But for a new thing to start, old one has to end. But seeing the whole place empty, all those memories flashed back, those get togthers, or just me n kanwar having some beer and seein Friends in his room n khushi making butter chicken in the kitchen. All those times, I swear, can never come back. Spending one year there and moving out from there would not have been easy for them too. The emotions they might have gone through would be exponential to what I felt.
Dropping Kanwar at the airport was not as bad as anyone would have thought, probably cuz I was too tired and sleepy from the last day moving. But suddenly realised the absence of him when took the first sip or beer that very evening. He has left Chicago, for his good, to persue his PhD. Its good, m happy for him, but sudden absence of someone leaves a blank, a space, that is hard to be filled. Its not daily that you get close to someone in such short span of time, and he is one of those. I miss someone calling me "Modi", miss someone who I can have beer with, miss someone who criticizes me when others appreciate me, and many more things that I miss. The list is endless.
With people slowly moving out, leaves only a few people in this huge place with who you can relate to. Pooja and Kanwar, you surely are missed by everyone and will be missed. I would never say this in person but writing is the only means by which I can let out my emotions. Those times will surely come back. There will again be times when we all will be together, reliving those moments.
At this moment... one quote that I can think of... "Though our communication wanes at times of absence, I'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background."
Love you guys, miss you.
